Mount Vernon High School

How To Motivate Kids In Youth Sports Youth sports and sports parenting is hard. We often walk a fine line between supporting and pressuring our athletes. But finding that sweet spot, where they stay motivated and in love with their sport – and challenged to get better, that’s where the gold is. But how? We hear so much about kids falling out of love with their sport. Mine did, her junior year of high school, and you can read about her story here. Too many fall victim to an outcome obsessed youth sports culture and hang up their high-tops well before they should. But there are things as parents we can do to help keep them motivated and in love with their sport. We’ve compiled 11 simple ways to help sports parents motivate athletes in youth sports. Avoid Bribery Significant research indicates that bribing kids is demotivating. Using money, ice cream, or other rewards for sports performance can reduce their intrinsic motivation. A Stanford University study found that when children were rewarded for tasks they naturally found enjoyable, their intrinsic motivation to engage in these activities decreased. This phenomenon is explained by the “overjustification effect,” where external incentives can undermine the pure joy and internal satisfaction derived from an activity. Encouraging children to find fulfillment in the activity rather than relying on external rewards helps sustain their passion and commitment in the long run. Inspire Them To Do Their Best, Don’t Pressure Them To Perform Instead of calling them out, call them up. It’s a subtle play on words, but it makes ALL the difference. Take the emphasis off negative reactions to bad games or bad practices. Instead, focus on what they are doing right. Encourage them and lift them up. Don’t always end your praise with a ‘But.’ We call this, “Good Job, But…” Nothing deflates a kid faster than a parent who is never satisfied or happy. As parents, it’s our job to find the good in the work, in the grind, and in the grit, not in the outcomes. The Science Behind Supporting Not Pressuring Your Athlete Encourage Them To Get Uncomfortable Allow and encourage them to put themselves in training situations where they will struggle, not completely falter, but have challenges and setbacks that they can overcome. For example, can they practice with the team a year above theirs? Are there competitive camps where they can experience new levels of play? Or can they find pickup games at the local park with older kids who are bigger, stronger, and faster? Don’t Overpraise Them While it is important to encourage and support young athletes, overpraising them can have the opposite effect and lead to demotivation. When children are constantly showered with excessive praise for even the smallest achievements, they may begin to feel that they don’t need to put in effort to succeed. This can result in a lack of genuine interest and passion for the sport, as they may rely solely on external validation rather than developing internal motivation. Additionally, overpraising can create unrealistic expectations, setting them up for disappointment when they face inevitable challenges or failures. Balance praise with constructive feedback to help kids build resilience and a healthy, self-motivated approach to sports. Don’t Compare Them “Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Teddy Roosevelt. Comparing them to teammates, siblings, or anyone else can rob them of their joy and motivation. Focus on Individual Progress; they should be competing against themselves every day, not how they stack up against others. Expose Them To The Next Level of Play Attend local high school, college, or professional games to give them something to strive for. Make it a fun family outing. Talk with them about what they noticed and what they learned from watching. If it’s their next level up—high school or college—take a walk around the campus. Let them dream and have a vision for what their future could look like. Keep Sports Fun Nothing is more demotivating than having a job at nine years old. Fun and development should be the focus until they reach high school or beyond. Look for programs and coaches who prioritize those over winning. Play Multiple Sports to keep things exciting and fresh. Gamify Their Training Incorporate challenges and games into their training. Youth sports training has become increasingly gamified, companies like Toca incorporate elements like point systems, leaderboards, and mini-challenges to boost engagement and motivation. This approach mirrors video games’ mechanics and success, making training sessions more enjoyable and competitive for young athletes. There are many commercial trainers already doing this, or you can create at-home mini-challenges that focus on developing specific skills where points are kept, and there is a clear winner. Or, organize small, friendly competitions between teammates, siblings, or friends to keep the excitement alive. Lead by Example Continue to work out and play sports yourself. Plan regular family sports activities, like weekend volleyball games or bike rides. Be Active. Show them that staying active is a lifelong habit, not just a means to an end. Allow Breaks When you notice they are getting bored or tired of their sport, give them a break before they reach the point of burnout. Schedule regular rest periods well ahead of time so they are factored into the training schedule. Listen to their daily needs and concerns and take action if they need time off. Delay Intense Training and Travel Teams For As Long As Possible Allow them to develop a genuine interest and desire to play sports before committing to high-level training. Don’t rush into travel teams and private trainers out of fear of missing out. By the time they reach high school, many kids will have lost their motivation and love of their sport due to early sports specialization. It shouldn’t be a job for a child; it should be fun.