Mount Vernon High School

Champions Aren't Born. They're Built. Kobe Bryant was the ultimate competitor. His mindset was so impressive it got its own nickname: the Mamba mentality. He was the kind of athlete many of us wish our kids could be. He was tough. Committed. Fearless. Clutch. And while that may be what we want, for most of us raising and developing young athletes today, that’s a far cry from what we’ve got. When we look at our kids, we don’t see the ultimate competitor. We see fear or laziness or embarrassment. We see weakness. Based on what we see, it may be hard to envision our kids ever having what Kobe had. That’s why my favorite Kobe Bryant story is one from his childhood. He tells it at the 2:20 mark of this insightful interview. When he was 11 years old, Kobe spent the summer playing in Philadelphia’s Sonny Hill Future League, a breeding ground for high-level basketball. You’re probably picturing little Kobe dominating the league, hitting his patented game-winners and sneering ruthlessly as the other kids begged for mercy. But that’s not what happened. In fact, Kobe played the whole summer and scored – ready for it? – exactly zero points. Not a single made basket. Not a free throw. Not a lucky shot. Not a breakaway layup. He says himself, "I was terrible." His dad found him after the last game of that summer in tears, embarrassed by his performance. Now that’s an image of Kobe that many of us raising young athletes can relate to! That’s the experience so many of our kids have as they grow up in sports, one filled with disappointment and doubt. I love that story because it reminds me of a simple truth that’s so critical to helping my own kids reach their potential, and yet one that’s so easy for me to forget. The truth is, champions aren’t born. They’re built. Despite the unhealthy narrative we construct in our minds – one that often fools us into believing that some people were born with a champion’s mindset, and our kids just weren’t one of them – even Kobe Bryant was crumbling to pieces as a kid. It validates that our kids aren’t broken or backwards. They’re kids! They’re not supposed to have it all figured out yet, and despite our occasional lapses in memory, we didn’t either. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither was Kobe Bryant’s “Mamba Mentality,” and neither will your child’s winning mindset. There's a process that every champion has to go through - a process of failing, of learning, of struggling, and then gradually of improving and eventually succeeding - both physically and mentally. If we have a genuine interest in helping our kids reach their potential, then we have to accept the reality of what it takes. We have to recognize that who they are today doesn’t have to be who they remain, and we have to accept the important role we play in their development process. That’s the other part I love about that Kobe story. His dad, long-time pro basketball player and Philadelphia playground legend Joe “Jellybean” Bryant, had plenty of reasons to be disappointed after his son’s scoreless summer. And seeing his boy crying could have left him feeling embarrassed or even angry. Instead, though, Kobe said his dad simply looked him in the eyes and told him, “I don’t care if you score 60 points or zero points. I will love you no matter what.” Kobe pointed to his father’s words in that moment as a turning point in his athletic career. “That is the most important thing you can say to a child,” Kobe said. It was a seminal moment in the construction of his Mamba mentality. There are some important reminders and some valuable lessons we can take from Kobe Bryant’s scoreless summer. We need to remember that our kids aren’t supposed to have it all together yet, and that developing the attitude and mindset of an elite performer takes time – even for the Kobe Bryants of the world. We need to remember that the hard stuff our kids go through can be a catalyst for their growth and development, if we recognize the opportunity it provides and use it the right way. We need to remember that our support and encouragement - especially in the midst of their failures and struggles - is so important to helping our kids reach their potential. And we need to remember that, in the end, champions aren’t born. They’re built. -Travis